Chill!

I have so many thing running through my mind. So much I can't even think of anything else. So much it makes me suffocate. So much it makes me break down.. then I cry.

Then I hate myself for crying, for being so weak, for being so not-grow-up, for being ungrateful, for being crying.

Then upon my crying I think about my past. About the things I have done. Have I achieve something or nothing at all?

Then all of the memories from my past just dancing along in my mind. All of it.

Now I have much more things to think and to feel.

It's more suffocating now.

Then somehow I stop thinking. Just stop.

I ask to myself "Why are you like this?"

My dominant answer "You're just overthinking. It give you more pressure than you already have. Chill. Having so much pressure is not good for your soul, you know."

I see my submissive answer "Yeah that's right. Gotta chill from now on!"

Undangan Berhadiah!

Jreng jreng jreng. Hari bersejarah nih. Pengumuman SNMPTN. Dari judulnya aja udah kebaca. Pengumuman buat masuk PTN favorit dengan jurusan impian melalui jalur rapor. Nggak perlu susah-susah tes macam SBMPTN atau UM, cukup input nilai rapor yang udah dikejar susah payah selama 3 tahun dan tunggu undangan berhadiahnya! 

Kalo beruntung, rezeki kalian tuh, jangan disia-siain ya. Kuliah yang bener biar bikin bangga diri kalian sendiri dan keluarga, kalo lulus ya kalo bisa cumlaude atau malah magna cumlaude. Yang belum lolos? Banyak temen seperjuangan kok, aku contohnya. Aku bakal nemenin kalian para pejuang SBMPTN buat berjuang ngalahin soal-soal bejat SBMPTN itu..dan semoga cukup sekali ini aja kita tes nya, langsung masuk PTN dengan jurusan impian kita, amiin. Abis itu, jangan kalah sama mereka yang diterima lewat SNMPTN. Kita juga harus lulus cumlaude atau magna cumlaude! Be the boss! Amen!

p.s.: sorry ini random to the max, cumin curhat mwhahahah :v

She Wants To Pee

Tadi gue ke Gramedia, sebuah toko buku di kota gue, gue naik motor. Pas mau parkir, gue dapet parkiran deket WC yang kebetulan ada di basement. Abis parkir gue lewat itu WC dan seketika keinget kejadian hampir satu setengah tahun lalu.

Waktu itu gue ngehost, dan ceritanya kita lagi hangout ber-banyak, 3 orang bule dan 2 orang pribumi. Waktu itu kita mau nyalon tapi salonnya antre 3 jam, akhirnya kita memutuskan buat pergi ke Gramedia buat numpang baca buku gitu. Setelah jalan kaki selama 5-10 menit dari salon, kita nyampe. Pas mau masuk ke tokonya, salah satu bule (bukan sister gue maupun salah seorang pribumi lainnya yang gue samarkan namanya) bilang kalo dia pengen pipis. Akhirnya kita anter dia ke WC yang ada di basement tempat parkir itu, dan apparently itu adalah WC satu-satunya. Setelah masuk WC dia keluar lagi dan bilang kalo dia gamau pipis disitu karena jijik. Oke fine.

Akhirnya kita ke KFC Sudirman buat numpang pipis (dan akhirnya beli makanan disana). Setelah semuanya pipis dan makan, kita balik ke Gramedia dengan jalan kaki (lagi). Setelah sampai di Gramedia, bule yang sama bilang dia sakit perut dan pengen pipis-atau poop?- (lagi) dan nggak mau pake WC Gramedia (lagi). AKhirnya kita kembali jalan kaki ke KFC Sudirman buat nganterin dia pipis. Abis itu kita manusia pribumi udah kagol mau ke Gramedia, akhirnya minta balik ke salon. Dan kita pun pulang ke salon, nggak jalan kaki, kali ini kita naik becak.

Fyuh, berjalan bolak-balik dari Gramed ke KFC buat nganterin orang pipis emang capek yah. But it was a memory I could never forget, silly yet funny.

Some Infinities Are Bigger Than Other Infinities

"There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's 0.1 and 0.12 and 0.112 and infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more number than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful." - Hazel Grace Lancaster, The Fault In Our Stars.

p.s: I cried so hard in this part. 

The Fault In Our Stars

Here is the thing, I'm a good person, but I'm a shitty writer (well I'm trying to quote Augustus Waters from the book 'The Fault In Our Stars'), not really. I'm probably not a good person and I am not a good writer either, yet again I'm trying to write in my blog. And I pity you who read my putrid posts, I'm sorry but I told you I'm not a good writer, didn't I?

Well I'm not here to write a post on how suck I am at writing things, I'm here to, I don't know, express my feeling? So yeah, after months of no new posts - perks of having huge tests - , I come back with a post that literally just about my bubling about a book I finished less than an hour ago called The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU TO READ THAT)

It's all begin yesterday when I had nothing to do except scrolling down though my timeline on Twitter, feeling bored to death, then I found a post; a quote specifically. It was from this book called The Fault in Our Stars. Then I read that and at first I didn't get it so I left it. Then I scrolled down again and found someone tweeted about the film version of it, and saying that the film will be the death of hers. Now I'm curious. So I looked for the e-book and started reading it.