Incertitude

It's just me or it is just really hard to know what you exactly want?

There are lots of things that need intricate mechanism, uneasy-annoying systems. But as human, whether we hate it or love it, we have to go through those systems to be in the society.

In our society, there is an education system stated that at the very young age--mostly around high school, 16-18--we have to decide what we are going to be in the next 5, 10 years. A professor?  Teacher? Doctor? Celebrity? Detective? Police Officer? Cashier? Waitress? Nothing? You have to figure it out, soon, because the it's time and you don't have forever.

Of course, the system want us to choose what we want to be as soon as possible so we can extend our carrier as wide as possible. So we settle soon enough. But nothing is perfect, so does the system. It of course has its flaws.

We are young. We are careless. We want to be free. Doing things that we like, making mistakes, trying another things and another mistakes. We are not yet figure out who we are, now you ask us to to figure out how I'd like to settle? How am I suppose to know? I can't just go by trial-and-error on my lifetime settlement right? It has to be right, it has to be perfect.

At this time, I thought a lot, that most of young generations are confused. We want to be a good person -make our parents proud, get decent school, someday settle to a good life- but at the same time we want to do what we are doing, what we likes. Just experimenting. So when you ask what one job we want to be, when the question 'what do you want to be?' 'which school you want to get into?' it's pretty hard to answer. It feels like, if I we answered it with one job all this things we've done is just a delusion. Like it doesn't matter at all, all the things we've put or struggle on, means nothing. Because as soon as we answer this question, we hate to take a deep breath, take a step back, and run even sprint for that job. We have competitors, we can't loose our ambition and motivation, and all. It's sometimes, just too much to even think of.

Sometimes I feel like I want to answer that one simple question. But then I look at my surrounding, I look through my memories and my past. My childhood dreams and my dreams now as teenager. I don't want to just stuck at one job forever. I want to be in lots of profession, but that's surely impossible. So I have to choose. The choosing is the hardest part.  Which job you could possibly pursue and which one you couldn't. Which job would make your family proud and which one wouldn't. Which job would make you settle and which job wouldn't. But the most important thing is.. which job would make you happy the most? Even doing it everyday for the rest of your life would not be a matter at all. You have to be careful to choose.

You never know whether you choose it out of passion or just because you don't want to leave your comfort zone.