It's a Bad Day but I'm still Believe-ing!

Happy new year, happy holiday, happy berbahagia! Have a great year ahead you!

Anyway, I actually didn’t start 2014 right since I fall asleep at the count down whoops, but today I’m living my second day of 2014! I watched Justin Bieber’s Believe today wohoooo~

I actually expected today to be perfect, aku bakal ke sekolah jam 10an buat debat terus jam 11.30an antre tiket Believe, terus main sama Pitak (iya, aku nonton sama PItak lagi :3) terus jam 14.30 nonton Believe..tapi namanya juga hidupnya Amma yang nggak pernah sesuai rencana, semuanya bubrah!

Pertama, ternyata Pitak bakal dateng jam 13.30, which means aku harus nunggu sejam lebih, “yaudah aku nunggu di XXI Café aja sambil baca novel kek atau ntar ngajak Mas Adit atau siapa lah” pikirku.

Kedua, pas pagi hari, niatnya mumpung liburan gini Amma mau ‘go kurus’ dengan lari pagi..tapi malah bangun jam 8-__- akhirnya yaudah gagal lari, ngerjain house work, dan cuss ke sekolah. Abis itu fotokopi rapor buat ambil buku di GO. Terus debat kan ya sampe jam 11.30an, nggak lupa ngajak mas Adit nongki di XXI Café abis debatnya kelar,  terus akhirnya cuss ke XXI buat ngantre tiket Believe since Pitak nggak bisa dateng jam 12 sharp.. Begitu masuk..CUY antrenya CUY sepanjang kereta mini *sigh* Yaudah deh demi nonton ini film aku rela antre setengah jam, nah pas mau liat jadwalnya aku mau ambil kacamata biar lebih jelas (iye aku minus 1,75 dan nggak penrah apke kacamata), aku obrak-abrik tas nggak ketemu..panik. Aku obrak-abrik lagi..tetep nggak ketemu damn ketinggalan! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO WATCH MOVIE WITHOUT SPECTACLES?!  Aku panik aku stress aku frustasi aku desperate (okay ini lebay). Terus keinget kalo tadi kayaknya tasku diobrak-abrik Lili di sekolah jadi mungkin jauh di sekolah gitu. Yaudah akhirnya setelah antre setengah jam aku dapetin iniii :3 terus balik ke sekolah.

Believe tickets

Begitu sampe di sekolah, aku buru-buru langsung ke Joglo (tempat latihannya) terus Tanya..dan ternyata nggak ada! I’m so dead. 

Akhirnya aku telfon ibu dna ternyata kacamata ada di meja makan dyeeeem! Aku :) harus :) balik :) buat :) ambil :) kacamata :) ke rumah :) yang jauhnya :) 12 kilometer :) oh how perfect. 

Last Samosa

So, last semester of this year just officially ended. Hari ini gua terima rapor, rapor terakhir gua di SMA. Nggak kerasa sungguh udah 3 thaun berlalu sejak pertama kali gua menginjakkan kaki di sekolah gua. Nggak kerasa udah 3 tahun jalanin hari-hari penuh canda tawa tangisan barengan temen-temen. Nggak kerasa. Rasanya udah mau lulus aja. Belum.. masih ada UNAS. Hardest step, but yeah I gotta beat it.

Seneng sih, akhirnya bakal meninggalkan goa penuh kesengsaraan tugas-tugas dari guru-guru, tapi bentar lagi bakal masuk ke samudra perkuliahan yang tuagsnya pasti bakal lebih banyak (bahasa gua apa banget sih dah).  Tapi ada sedihnya juga, apalagi kalo pas KSBB momen-momen bareg temen-temen semuaaaah..aah serba salah deh pokoknya.

Anyway, gua di sini cuman mau ngebacot doang kok hehehehhe. Rapor gua? Nggak jelek-jelek amat, nggak bagus-bagus amat. BUt I'm slightly proud of it. Nggak seberapa dibandingin nilai temen-temen gua yang ndewaaaaaaaa tapi ya emang kerja keras gua ahrganya segitu, I;m not going to lie to myself that I'm some sort of that genius lazy shit.. if I want to have great grade I should work really hard. I worked hard, but not hard enough to get a great grade, so I guess I just deserve what I got now. Well, sebenernya nilai gua nggak ada yang bisa dibanggain juga sih, tapi yaudahlah. Sebelnya paling cuman gegara nilai Bahasa Inggris gua turun, tapi nilai praktiknya bagus kok mihihihi :3 Lagian nilai rapor buat apa sih kalo buat gua? Kalo buat yang lain sih bisa buat daftar SNMPTN lah kalo gua, ya udah dilepeh mentah-mentah smaa PTNnya wong gua mau masuknya Fakultas apa dengan nilai seberapa-__- Ah sudahlah, gua mau nge-game lagi kcaaaaw~ Selamat Berlibuuur!

It’s a Movie Day: The Hobbit & Cinema Café!

Libur telah tiba, libur telah tiba, hore hore hore!

Eiits, Belum, liburan emang belum officially diumumin, tapi paling nggak udah nggak ada KBM di sekolah and it’s time to live your life! There are so many things to do this holiday, and for me it was hanging out with my bestie, Pitak (her real name is Diana Fitri actually, but I call her Pitak muehehehhe). So yeah, kemarin Rabu aku sama Pitak jalan, berdua doang. Bukan, bukan karena saking jonesnya, tapi emang we plan this just for us because we need besties time. 

Semuanya berawal saat aku lagi stress-stressnya UAS, saking banyaknya materi yang harus dikejar tapi otak ini nggak kuat mengejarnya dan bikin jiwaku frustasi, tiba-tiba ada sebuah SMS pencerahan bagi jiwaku *oke ini lebay*. SMS nya isinya ngajak nonton The Hobbit dari Pitak, so I absolutely said YES! Afterwards, setelah aku selesai UAS, hari Rabu aku hangout sama Pitak! 

Tiket The Hobbit II :)

Since udah nggak ada KBM, rencananya sih aku nggak mau berangkat sekolah, jadi aku cuman bakal ke Bisokop doang dari rumah, tapi ternyata jam 7.30 aku diSMS Yustika suruh cuss ke sekolah bantuin finishing film jam 8 ntar, dude gua belum ngapa-ngapain-_- Dan karena mbak di rumah lagi pulang kampung, aku yang jadi penggantinya. Jadilah aku berangkat jam 9 dari rumah setelah beberes rumah yang bentukannya kaya kapal pecah. Setelah sampe di sekolah, aku cuman bikin synopsis ternyata, ngedit film-nya di rumah Tungky ternyata. Setelah semuanya kelar, aku nonton The Hobbit I sama Devi pake laptopnya dia, sekalian nungguin jam janjianku sama Pitak-jam 11an.

Akhirnya setelah jam 11 aku ganti baju dan cuss ke XXI Sudirman. Pas sampe parkiran, I saw a bunch of people in front of the door. Dude, pintu belum dibuka aja orangnya udah bejibun, ntar antreannya bakal panjaaaaang banget pasti! Sialnya, aku masih harus antre parkir, dan begitu selesai parkir pintu masuk udah dibuka dan orang-orang udah pada antre, and seperti perkiraanku, aku dapet antrean yang lumayan panjang, mana Pitak belum dating lagi, damn. Akhirnya setelah nunggu 5-10menitan Pitak dating. I was so glad! We hugged and talked while queuing, nggak kerasa ngantre deh kalo kamu udah ngobrol sama sahabatmu, serius. Tiba-tiba udah giliran kita aja gitu, akhirnya kita beli tiket buat jam 12.30 siang dan untungnya dapet kursi yang tengah-tengah.

Since jam masih menunjukkan pukul 12.00, aku sama Pitak pun memutuskan buat cari makan. Dan jadilah kita pergi ke  Cinema Café yang letaknya nggak begitu jauh dari XXI. So, setelah jalan beberapa menit, sampailah kita di cafenya. Dari luar sih keliatan biasa aja, tapi begitu masuk, you’ll drop your jaw I swear. Tempatnya cozy bangeeet! Dan dari namanya aja udah keliatan kan “Cinema Café”, tema dekorasi café-nya pun Hollywood. Dari mulai poster-poster film yang udah difigura dan ditempel di temboknya, beberapa property film kaya baju astronot dan alat yang buat penanda take (gua nggak tau namanya-_-), kursi dan meja yang dicat dengan tema film, sampe layar lebar buat nonton film-nya pun ada! Keren banget deh sumpah! Oh ya, dan since ini Desember which is deket sama Natal, ada X–mas tree nya juga loh! 

pohon natal segede gambreng cuy

You Are Worthy.

11-12-13. Pretty number right? That's the date of today. People said it's so pretty, I said it's just a regular day. For me, it's not the date of calendar that makes your day special, it's how you live it, how you make your day special. Just like you. But..

You're disgusting.

Ugly.

A failure.

Loveless. 

Worthless.

Friendless.

Pathetic.

Nothing.

Sometimes, those feeling come to you. It stays in your heart for a long time, it consumes your heart that you feel so insecure. Why am I so ugly? Why God created with such an unattractive face? Why dont people love me? Why is it always about her? The one who has perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect body whose everyone love though she sometimes act too bitchy? Why am I so pathetic? I have no friends, no lover, no life. Why am I nothing? I have nothing that could make everyone accept me, not my face nor my life. It's all just so flat, uninteresting. 

It seems like everyone tend to judge me. Judge my unbearable pimples. Judge my fat body. Judge my silly behavior. Judge my flat life. Even they judge the books that I read, the movie that I watch, the people who I idolize. Judge me. Just judge. They never stop judge me. They make me fall even deeper into my insecurities hole. Soo deep that I cant even breath, so deep that I cant even see anything at all but sadness. All I see is my sad pathetic life. Nobody loves me, not even me. I hate myself.

NO. 

Unsaid Love

"Una delle cose più difficili nella vita è avere parole nel vostro cuore che non si può pronunciare"

- James Earl Jones

--"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter"

There probably are so many things you wish to say, but you can't. Love, for example.

You think you have crush on somebody. You have no reason why you have those weird feeling toward  him, you just somehow have it. When he's around, your mood suddenly increased. When he's away, even in the happiest event of your life, deep down on your heart you feel empty. When he smiles, nothing's matter anymore, even your pain. But when he hurts, you feel all the pain he feels. Cliche, but it somehow just happen to you. 

Then you have these thought; what if? What if it's not just 's crush'? What if you just fall for him? What if it is love you are feeling now? What if..?

Then you are forced to face the reality; you can't say that. You can, but you won't. Because you hesitate, of yourself, of your feeling. Those hesitations lead you to the hardest thing; the unsaid love. The love that will stay in your heart forever if you don't utter it.