Joie de Vivrie

Joie de Vivrie. The joy of my life.
I swear that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. 
It's so deep if you can find the meaning of it, or if you're falling in love.
No, I'm not falling in love.
I currently read some fanfictions, and they somehow just make feel like like this.
Like I'm falling in  love but I'm not.

But, Joie de Vivire. Isn't that just sounds so right?
Even though I just read the sentence.. I somehow can feel it.
Suddenly, everything seems so beautiful
The fresh air, the trees, the flowers, the water
Everything seems so alive

Joie de Vivrie
Have you ever imagine the joy that bought by someone?
Have you ever imagine the feeling of being with someone?
The happiness which seemed like it will stay forever?
When that one person finally fill the hole of  your life?

Joie de Vivrie. the joy of my life.
I want to find one, not now cause I'm too young to  even think about it
But if I can wish, I wish I could find the joy of my life.
So I could feel perfect and filled.
So I could wake up every morning with big stupid smile on my face
because I know that I'm loved.

And I hope you are my joie de vivrie, Mr. Right. 

Because Family Is Like Stars

HI guysss, waddup? I havent wrote here for like.. forever? But who miss me? Anyway, so many things happen in my life lately.. I just feel, like everything's change. My friend, my school, my teacher. They're all 'bureng' (like really exited on preparing exams) that drive me crazy. I mean, can you imagine going to school at 6 and go home at 6 almost every day? Plus with all of your friends that seems brighter than you and you feel like a total idiot? This life just drives me crazy! 

And to be truth, I was feeling so goddamn insecure.. like can I really reach my dreams? Am I really that capable to live my life? Can I make my parents proud of me? I was so afraid.. but then somehow Mom can give some uplifting words that no one can ever give to me. She cuddle me and said that everything's gonna be alright..And s my sisters and brothers, they gave me some lessons.. As usual, my dad kept silent.. but when it came to his birthday, once, I said Happy Birthday (and so) then he said "All I wanna see is that you become a success woman, and that would make me proud so that I can live longer" that's so.... You know the feeling? Like it's a challenge.. but it's the hardest challenge..

And that's what family does.. Support you, give you lessons.. sometimes, the keep silent but deep down, they think about you and always you, they always support and pray for you. Never leave you, even just for a second. Because family is like starts, they're always there, whenever you see them or not, whenever you realize they exist or not, they'll always watching on you.. always be there for you and pray for you.

Tentang Mimpi.

Apa mimpimu?

Mimpi. Siapa sih yang nggak punya mimpi? Semua orang pasti punya mimpi. Gua punya mimpi.. Dan gua yakin, elo juga pasti punya mimpi. Tapi kadang, saat gua mikirin tentang mimpi gua, gua galau.. Gua takut gua nggak sanggup ngeraih mimpi itu. Gua takut, mimpi gua yang tinggi banget itu nggak bisa gua capai, dan gua bakal jatuh, terpuruk, nggak tau gimana harus bangkit. Gua takut juga ngecewain kedua orangtua gua yang udah rela banting tulang pagi-malem buat bantu gua, support gua ngeraih mimpi gua. Apalagi akhir-akhir ini.. Gua liat temen-temen gua yang lain udah semakin deket dengan mimpi mereka. Nggak "sedeket itu" sih, tapi..deket. 

Mereka dapet nilai yang bagus, bakal memudahkan mereka ngewujudin mimpi. Kenapa? Karena nilai-nilai itu bakal masuk ke nilai rapor dan nilai rapor itu dipake sebagai pertimbangan masuk universitas, which mean kalo nilai mereka bagus = nilai rapor bagus = masuk universitas gampang = semakin dekat dengan mimpi. Sedagkan gua? Masih galau dan belom bisa move on dari nilai kimia gua yang ancurnya, audzubillah. Bayangin kalo lo dapet nilai dibawah KKM sedangkan temen-temen lo dapet nilai 8, 9, malah ada yang dapet nilai 97.

Mereka sering banget ikut lomba, entah sering menang atau nggak, tapi mereka sering ikut dan gua yakin, walaupun hanya sekali mereka pernah menang lomba. Banyak banget temen-temen gua yang sering ikut lomba yang sesuai sama cita-citanya, yang pengen masuk STAN sering ikut lomba matematika, yang pengen masuk kedokteran sering ikut lomba kimia, biologi, atau lomba PMR/yang berhubungan dengan kedokteran lainnya. Padahal semakin kita sering emnang lomba + semakin punya banyak piagam = semakin tambah nilai kita di mata universitas = makin gampang masuk = makin deket sama mimpi. Lah gua? Sering sih ikut lomba, lomba debat, and I admit it went really great and I enjoyed it so much since I have passion on debating, but I never win, and I don't know will I ever win. Dan lagipula sebenernya lomba debat itu nggak ada hubungannya sama jurusan yang pengen gua ambil, tapi entah, mungkin Allah punya ajlan yang lebih indah buat gue :')

Terus gua kudu gimana? Gua berkali-kali mikirin tentang mimpi gua, tentang apa yang udah gua perbuat buat ngewujudin mimpi gua, tapi..gua merasa nol. Gua merasa bener-bener nggak pernah berusaha, gua cuman bilang "ash, gampang, ntar juga kelar kerjaannya" tapi gua nggak bener-bener ngelarin kerjaan itu dengan sepenuh setanga, gua takut.. gau takut usaha gua yang belom maksimal itu bakal ngasih efek ke hasil akhir gua buat ngeraih mimpi gua. Gua takut, mimpi gua juga jadi setengah-setengah hasilnya.

Ngeraih mimpi udah kayak ngeraih tangga ke surga ye?

Kata Om Mario Teguh...

Mungkin judulnya salah, mungkin seharusnya judulnya Secret Admirer 2, tapi gua kan mau ngomongin salah satu quote dari Om Mario Teguh yang berhubungan sama Secret Admirer? Oke, jangan dipikirin, langsung cuss baca postingan gua aja yuk!~

Well, okay, buat lo semua yang belon baca postingan gua di Secret Admirer, klik disini!

Well, mungkin gua terkesan agak munafik pas lo semua baca postingan gua ini. Tapi beberapa menit lalu, gua baru aja liat Golden Ways, acaranya om Mario Teguh di salah satu TV swasta (lo semua pasti udah tau kan?). Nah, Om Mario Teguh baru aja menyampaikan sesuatu yang bikin gua (dan tentunya para secret admirer lainnya merasa MJB-Mak Jleb Banget-), quote nya gini: 

“hal-hal yang kita sesalkan pada akhir hidup kita adalah cinta yang tak tersampaikan” 

dan gua langsung ternganga-nganga. Gimana enggak? Well, u all know kalo gua adalah seorang secret admirer, orang yang hanya mengagumi seseorang tapi ngak pernah nyatain perasaan itu ke orang yang dia suka, dan bagi gua, Galleon. Nggak pernah sekalipun gua nyatain perasaan gua ke Galleon. Rasa takut berkecamuk di hati gua, takut kalo Galleon bakal benci gua, takut kalo galleon bakal ngejauhin gua dan nggak mau temenan sama gua lagi. Takut. Rasa takut itulah yang bikin gua buat keep admire him secretly *mengumbar curahan hati*. Hal itu berujung pada galau  berkepanjangan yang gua alamin  pernah gua alamin. Hal itu juga yang bikin gua forever alone dan jadi seorang jones, jomblo ngenes paling galau se Pulau Jawa.  So, buat elo semua yang nggak pengen bernasib kayak gua: secret admirer Guru Besar Secret Admirer binti Jones binti Forever Alone, sampaikan cintamu!~

Sekian curhatan dari saya, maaf ya random dan typo banget._.

Holiday = Forever Alone!

WARNING! Ini adalah cerita absurd jomblo ngenes!

Apakabar mblo? Masih jomblo lo? Sama kayak gua dong! Jadi jomblo itu nggak gampang ya, mblo. Apalagi pas nggak ada temen, kayak gua sekarang. Gau lagi jadi jomblo ngenes nih! Nggak ada temen. Sebenernya banyak sih, dulu. Iya, dulu sebelon sahabat-terdekat gua jadian, banyak temen gua. Sekarang? Sekarang sahabat-sahabat gua udah pada jadian, ditinggal gua deh aish *peluk-danbo* Nisa? Udah sama Mas Ganjar. Ira? Udah sama Shahood. Dilla? Udah sama mas Dandul. Terus gua? Masih galau-galauan sama Danbo. Ish! Sumpah, kalo begini caranya, gua udah ngerasa kayak depina di 9gag deh ah -_-

Mungkin kalo baju ini dijual di Indonesia, gua bakal borong!

Dan, sekarang nih. Sekarang sekarang ini, gua lagi mikir, emang gua bener-bener butuh pacar? Kayaknya iya. Masalahnya gini, pas liburan gini gua merasa forever alone banget, pake ‘banget’ lho ya. Temen-temen udah pada pergi sama keluarga mereka atau sama pacar. Lah gua? Since ortu gua dua-duanya PNS, jadi pas liburan gini pun harus tetep masuk kerja aish! Palingan paling ngepol juga gua cuman bisa maen sama temen sekelas, itu pun terbatas waktunya. Jadinya selama liburan gini gua cuman di rumah, sendirian, jadi pembokat. Kurang ngenes apa coba?  Gua mau SMS, mau SMS siapa. Mau chat, chatting sama siapa. Gua mau pergi, mau ngajak siapa. Tuuh kan! Terus pas gua sakit, mau cerita sama siapa. Pas gua sedih, sebel, kecewa, seneng dan ngerasa forever alone gini, gua mau cerita ke siapa? Ke blog (lagi)? aaaa, mungkin bener ya, judul postingan gua holiday = forever alone. Ish! Mana gua ngerasa galau nya dobel-dobel gini lagi! Yang pertama galau gara-gara liburan gua forever alone, yang kedua gua ngerasa galau (dan goblok) soalnya sebagai secret admirer, gua galau mau SMS si doi apa nggak. Kalo gua SMS, gua takut ketahuan, kalo nggak SMS gua geregetan aaa~  gimana dong? Paling libuan gua berujung gini. Pagi: bnagun, nyuci, nyapu. Siang: masak, jagain adek. Sore: nyapu, jagain adek, online. Malem: galau, nonton TV, tidur. Tengah malem: bangun, nonton TV, makan, forever alone-an, nonton film. Gitu doang? Liburan gua nggak berwarna banget (y). Kalo gua dibandingin sama Derpina, mungkin Derpina jauh lebih bahagia dibanding gua. Well, seenggaknya dia nggak jadi pembokat ._.

Derpina, I know how do you feel. Seriously.

Udahan ah mblo, udah cukup banding-bandingin gua sama Derpina! Mungkin Derpina emang diciptain buat jadi forever alone, tapi nggak mungkin kan Tuhan setega itu nyiptain gua cuman buat jadi orang yang forever alone juga? Nggak mungkin kan?! Udah ah,  gua mau forever alone-an dulu. Kcaw! 

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

Ini, masih berkait dengan postingan gua tadi pagi.. Gua khirnya menyadari, ada lagu lain yang mak jlebb juga buat perasaan gua ini~~ judulnya The Climb dari Miley Cyrus.. enjoy it!

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreamin
But there’s a voice inside my head saying
"you’ll never reach it"
Every step I’m taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with ’known direction
My faith is shakin
But I gotta keep tryin
Gotta keep my handheld high

There’s always gonna be another mountain.
I’m always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose.
Ain’t about how fast I get there.
Ain’t about what’s waitin on the other side.
It’s the climb.

The struggles I’m facing.
The chances I’m taking.
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking.
I may not know it but these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most, yeah.
I Just gotta keep going.
And I gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on,
’cause,

There’s always gonna be another mountain.
I’m always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
But Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose.
Ain’t about how fast I get there.
Ain’t about what’s waitin on the other side.
It’s the climb.

Yeah-yeah

There’s always gonna be another mountain.
I’m always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you’re gonna have to lose.
Ain’t about how fast I get there.
Ain’t about what’s waitin on the other side.
It’s the climb.

Yeah-yeah-yea

Keep on moving,
Keep climbing,
Keep the faith,
Baby

It’s all about,
It’s all about the climb
Keep your faith,
Keep your faith
Whoa, O Whoa

Source:https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFme2J94wHzDT3x6L_Em11WKHcEoC9zWJDvwFUMKxahkwkwOOe6XdIz4mchA9eAphiUws2YPtuy0bxKft7lJViK2HlvpzVWLbcP84ElJhvGA_nghZ8QV3OS-kt8fYU507FAvKyNqWpU-m5/s1600/The+Climb+(FanMade+Single+Cover)+Made+by+mileyismine.png

http://www.cariliriklagu.com/2009/03/lirik-lagu-miley-cyrus-the-climb/

Never Say Never - Justin Bieber

 rr~ biar nggak galau, dengerin ini aja deh ._.


See I never thought that I could walk through fire.
I never thought that I could take the burn.
I never had the strength to take it higher,
Until I reached the point of no return.

And there's just no turning back,
When your hearts under attack,
Gonna give everything I have,
It's my destiny.
 
Reff
I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up, (3x) Pick it up up up,
And never say never.

I never thought I could feel this power.
I never thought that I could feel this free.
I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower.
And I'm fast enough to run across the sea.

And there's just no turning back,
When your hearts under attack,
Gonna give everything I have,
Cause this is my destiny.

back to Reff

Here we go!
Guess who?
JSmith and Jb!
I gotcha lil bro.
I can handle him.
Hold up, aight?
I can handle him.

Now he's bigger than me,
Taller than me.
And he's older than me,
And stronger than me.
And his arms a little bit longer than me.
But he ain't on a JB song with me!

I be trying a chill
They be trying to side with the thrill.
No pun intended, was raised by the power of Will.

Like Luke with the force, when push comes to shove.
Like Cobe with the 4th, ice water with blood.

I gotta be the best, and yes
We're the flyest.
Like David and Goliath,
I conquered the giant.
So now I got the world in my hand,
I was born from two stars
So the moon's where I land.

back to Reff 2x

Source: http://liriklaguterlengkap.blogspot.com/2010/06/justin-bieber-never-say-never-lyrics.html 
            http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ea/Never_Say_Never_Single.jpg

Never Say Never!!

hai gan! Met pagi buat eloh-eloh semuwah *hiFive So, pagi ini akhirnya gua buka e-mail yang bikin malem gua nggak tenang.. e-mail yang (sebenernya bukan) hidup-mati guweeh.. e-mail itu, e-mail dari hasil tes gua, banyaak banget pengorbanan yang udah gua lakuin buat ngikutin tes itu.. Bungkus lepty pake kresek, hujan-hujan tanpa pake raincoat, nyemplung di got.. (baca aja di http://bluenaft.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-amazing-day.html) itu SESUATU banget.. dan pagi ini, semua pengorbangan itu, bukannya sia-sia sih, pengorbanan itu, hanya terhapus dengan hasil yang menyatakan bahwa,, gua nggak lolos..

Well, ini hidup man! Elo mau ngapain lagi?! kalo elo nggak lolos, itu berarti ada yang kurang dari elo, ada sesuatu di diri elo yang nggak sesuai sama mereka. Oke lah, ini hidup. Hdup adalah permainan.. Gua harus MOVE ON kan?! gua ngga mau galau-galauan terus.. pokoknya, e-mail ini.. harus bisa ngerubah gua! ngerubah gua biar nggak males lagi, ngerubah gua biar gua bisa jadi lebih baik! gua harus berubah, gua harus move on, this is my life, still believing! still.. NEVER SAY NEVER!! :)

Gambar: http://brendamjones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/neversaynever.jpg

10:33

hari ini gua galau entah kenapa, padahal tadi pagi gua semangat banget, mendekati pelajaran matika, mood gua turun! anjirr, mungkin karena gua masuk ke dalam golongan ababil (?) 


:( :( :( 

oh, jadi gini ya rasanya
aku jadi tau,
kamu bikin aku ngerasain banyak hal,
aku hadi tau,
gimana rasanya jadi mereka,
ternyata,
jadi secret admirer itu susah yaa,
makasih buat kamu, yang udah ngasih tau gimana rasanya!